Giving Up...(The Story Behind ProPain VI)

What’s up everyone, my name is Michael Stover. Usually I write a post or two a week doing my best to help artists and writers in their respective careers. However today I really need YOUR help.

Above is a song I wrote a couple years ago called “ProPain VI” from an EP called “Life” that I released in 2015. Before I ask for your help let me tell you the story behind the track.

On the first full day of 2015 my mother kicked me out of the house. I won’t get into many details but let’s just say she wasn’t exactly pleased with my career choices. We haven’t really spoken since. Now let me make this clear, I love my mom more than anything. Everything I do is to get to the point of making sure my mom never has to work a day in her life again and can relax after all she’s done for myself, my sister and others. Getting kicked out though, crushed me, I was still in college trying to grab yet another degree and had to leave because I didn’t have a cosigner.

The relationship between my mom and I was already tense, couple that with some other things in my life headed in a negative direction I approached a breaking point. It’s a point I had reached before and one I reach again. I wanted to give up. Not just give up on a career but on my life. I will never forget running up to my dorm in tears, feeling completely hopeless, feeling like there was nowhere to turn, no progress to be made yet still feeling like I was busting my ass not just for myself but others.

“Imagine how much better everyone’s life would be without you.”

“Your mom doesn’t even love you, how could anyone else?”

“You’ve been chasing a writing career and a music one for years, no one cares but you dude. End it.”

I know some of you are thinking “Sto, you’re being awfully dramatic right now”. However I know there are some of you out there who know exactly what I’m talking about. I ran upstairs and my roommate had a bottle of medication that I grabbed. My roommate was gone. My friends were in class. Not a soul was looking for me and I considered just walking somewhere and ending it. However I googled it to see how much it would hurt to overdose….it said a ton so I backed out. I used a lot of vices in an attempt to deal with the hand life was dealing me. Now I’m not trying to make this some Phoenix rise from the ashes type stuff. But I wrote this song to remind others and myself that sometimes that life fucking sucks. It sucks to the point where you’ll doubt your entire purpose and existence sometimes. YOU.MUST.PUSH.THROUGH.

I now currently have the opportunity to perform in Afropunk Brooklyn but I need your help. All I need you to do is to click HERE and “like” and/or “repost” “ProPain VI” on Soundcloud. I’m in the Top 25 right now. If I make it to the Top 16, I’ll have to perform at The Knitting Factory in Brooklyn for the chance to make it to the semi-finals. While making it to the next round would be dope, I truly want you to go and pursue your dreams and to keep hope. There’s nothing wrong with taking a count or two away from the fight that is life but make sure you get back up and keep fighting that fight. I appreciate all of the support I’ve garnered for the track so far it means more than you know.

P.S. Peace to Rashad for letting me use “Crashing Down” it’s one of the best beats I’ve ever heard and gave me the chance to express myself and open myself up in a way I never had before. Thank you. You can check out his music HERE and his follow him on Twitter HERE. In fact to brighten your day check out the record he just released with DrewsThatDude.